Elephpants, 2008 generation

  • Ecrit par Damien Seguy
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Ce document est aussi disponible en français fr 

It is now the mating time for elePHPants, and it is high time that every would-be PHPather and moPHPher learn about the reproduction cycle of the PHP fuzzy mascott.

There are two kind of broods, depending on the size of the mother : the elephpants, with a standard size (7 inches), are born by group of 50 only (and exactly). There are also the big elephpants, of 20 inches, which are brought to the world alone. You may book your own assortment of any group of 50 elephpants, and big elephpants. Once you have made up your mind and decided how many of them you want, you just have to contact us.

During May 2008, we will collect world-wide orders and gather them as one giant brotherhood of elephpants. The mating season will end on Sunday June 1rst, 23h59, Paris, France time.

A that moment, we will inseminate the mothers, and gestation will start. Unlike the wild elephants, that take a lengthy 22 months to give birth, the PHP elephpants are fast and will need only 4 months to deliver, including a one month period to ship directly to your doorstep. If we are lucky, we expect those schedules to be shorter the you are living closer to Paris, France. At our best guess of the moment, you'll have your elephpants early October.

Special generation While discussing with various PHP user groups and companies, we realized some of your wanted customized version of the elephpant : there is the now famous, pink elephpant, including lipstick and painted nail (suggested by PHP women), and other requests for using the other side of the elephpant to put a logo, just like Oracle did.

Those special generation are definitely possible. They will be organized outside the community order, with adapted schedules and pricing. Elephpants will be 5 euros each, with a 800 production minimum. Big elephpants will be 65 euros minimum, and will be also linked to the previous production. You can expect prices to get lower as the size of the production grows bigger.

Please, note that the customisation of the elephpant must be clever, and de bon gout. Nexen Services may refuse any suggestion that will take the original design too far from its original presentation.

Pricing For an order and paiement before June 1rst, illimited quantities : + 4 euro / éléphpant + 50 euro / gros éléphpant

For an order and paiement before October 1rst, limited stocks : + 7 euro / éléphpant + 70 euro / gros éléphpant

For an order after October 1rst, public prices, limited stocks : + 10 euros / éléphpant + 95 euros / gros éléphpant

Your role in this project : 1. You decide how many boxes of 50 elephpants and / or big elephpants you would like to adopt. 2. You subscribe, using this form 3. We work out the details, especially the shipping, taxes and customisation. 4. You pay before June 1rst, to get the production prices 5. You keep a lazy ear on the production details during summer, while relaxing 6. You harvest 2 tons of grass, and throw a welcome party to your buddies early October.


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